I'll chime in here, hopefully to offer some encouragement.
Although I am not technically a DB'er, so I hesitate to offer advice--I wander over here from the SSM forum and I have followed your sitch from the first post. You sound like an amazing, intelligent and beautiful person...someone with whom I could become friends in RL.
Your sitch is compelling to many. I think one reason why is because, unlike so many who post here whose marriages have very low odds and DB is a last ditch effort, your marriage looks like one with *great* potential to be saved.
Hence, I think, the frustration of your sage advisers....whose circumstances and journeys are/were WAY beyond what you face. They are only trying to help you get some perspective, and to count your blessings. The 2X4's sting, but I truly think they are offered in love---TOUGH LOVE, SISTER!!
So, even though you don't know me, here's a big ((((Mindblank)))) from me! Mmwwaah
As I have observed here before, DB principles really work. I think you've seen that already. But because people are not perfect, some mistakes/backslides happen and don't totally derail the result...some meaning 2-3 times, but not 10 times! I have followed several threads here where ill-timed pursuit has pushed wavering WAS's to the point of no return.
As for the text convo, like you said, just drop it. If he brings it up again, just listen objectively to what he has to say. Even if he doesn't, trust me, he remembers the text and knows where you stand, so no need to remind him again...OK?????
Here's an analogy I loved from another thread:
You have planted a seed in your marriage and have been seeing evidence that is has taken root and has begun to grow. If you repeatedly rip the plant up by the roots to see HOW MUCH it's grown, the plant's gonna die. So just keep patiently tending the plant and have faith that the outcome will eventually bear fruit.
Here's a side note about plants (how green's your thumb?) Plants that thrive in really arid climates sink a really deep tap root before any evidence of growth appears at the surface. But, years later when the deep root is established, the plant is impervious to drought, flood, freeze and fire.
I hope you have a better day today...I didn't get any "love" from my H either, so we can both just self soothe our anxiety over it together. One day at a time...
