Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Last night was uneventful. Got home picked up D6 from daycare for W and then picked up D8 from play rehearsal. W got pissy when I said I wanted to pick up D8 but then wouldn't let me let her go instead. Her problem not mine.

I started helping with dinner when I got home. She also acted pissy when I offered to help - "Whatever". She was making the same thing I made on Sunday because we had twice as much as we needed (and the kids love it). I said I realized how much better her potato pancakes were when I tried to make them Sunday because mine turned out all soggy and greasy and her's were always crispy and good. She said that was BS because I always made them. I did say that I hadn't made them in a while, so much so that I had to look up the directions in the book to remember how. I am trying to be a "Cheerleader" but I wonder if she thinks it is being to obvious and feels like pushing. I will try a few more times and if I still get bad reactions I might stop.

After dinner she retreated to her room and I didn't bother her. I put the kids to bed, cleaned the kitchen and worked on a few things in the office and then went to my room around 8:30. I am not going to ask her to come out of her room again. I thought it went along with the whole "lets be friends" thing but I need to give her space and let her come to me instead.

I did pretty good not reacting to her being pissy. Only when she made a comment about my sister coming to visit for night did I react. She said "well I will make myself scares that night" and I said "whatever" and walked away.

Trying to remember that anger is not necessarily a bad thing. That it will take a long time for her to stop feeling angry and it could even be her way of keeping herself from having positive feelings about me. I just realized that she gets pissy all the time when I offer to do something like help with dinner or pick up the kids. Should I take that as a message to stop offering to help as much?