Thursday is perfect to meet! I was hoping to see my ex then too. Its a New Moon in Aries.. the start of the zodiac and also the start of spring official and a new start generally. Go for it, just be yourself, s*d dbing !!
Well done on getting HotTallGuy to chase you on public transport, thats funny!
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I have to believe, that NO ONE leaves a M or a Relationship whithout having someone else at least "waiting"... That's why I am so pissed at my H for not admitting the affair...
Julia, you are so very pretty, so young and I know it may sound bad but there is a huge positive in all this, you are lucky you got the early exit out, imagine if you had kids etc... I was married before and divorced when I was 24, no kids. After going through what I went through the last couple of years (and still), that divorce seems so..."easy" and painless. Believe me, over time, you will be fine and happy with someone you get to choose with all this knowledge you have gained. xxx K
Maria do you think thats true for both men and women? Just wondering. I have only ever known of one man who left and had no op and still hasn't some years later but not sure it's true for women. Maybe they (women) have just been unhappy for many years, sacrifice their happiness until the children are flown the nest and then throw in the towel preferring singledom rather than risk the same kind of life.
Yes I think it is true. For women, it may not be a man waiting, for us females it is enought to stray mentally, but sometimes, it is the thought that there is someone else there, that is better than our partner... We dont need a face, it can be an idea. For men, the get that idea in their head, AFTER they find the face (or body)... Confused you?
hmmmm yes, but I think I have an inkling of what you mean. I think it could depend on age groups, length of marriage etc. I suppose it is all guestistics as how would you ever get accurate data.
guestistics--- I think I just made a new word up but it fitted. Time for bed and book I think.
(((Naej))) thank you for your fantastic advice. I kind of need someone to hold my hand as it were at the moment as this is all so totally new. I have never been so let down by someone who I thought loved me. I will take some crib notes to remind myself. I am kind of forgetting all ready, which in a way is good as my anger has disappated and so will make for a better discussion with h, but at the same time I can feel myself getting weaker and wanting an easy life and leaving it, so I need to pep myself up again and realise that this is not acceptable.
(((Kalni))) I believe you and naej are right about them not walking away until they have ow in the background. It just shows their weakness! I do know I will be ok, it is just horrible and not what I wanted. However, I am really appreciative of what I have learnt and although it is a hard journey I learnt so much.
(((Ali))) Thank you for the astrology! I am so pleased spring is here - it felt like a long winter this year!
Today I am exhausted! I keep falling asleep at my desk which is quite bad!!! I have a busy week coming up, meet with the solicitors tomorrow morning then meet h on Thursday night as well as social stuff with friends. Then I am away for the weekend for an alumni day at my old uni which should be really good fun. Lots of people I haven't seen for years.
The guy from the course yesterday emailed me as soon as he got home! We're friends on FB now. Hmmm, we'll have to wait and see what happens with that one, if anything...
Well I went to see the solicitor this morning. It went well, she was very nice and gave me lots of really sound advice and I feel a lot better for knowing where I stand. It is good to feel more in control of my life. My sister was really supportive and helpful and took really detailed notes for me which is fantastic. I got to ask all my questions and she answered them pretty much as I expected and said I had been doing the right thing although she did say that we shouldn't have any joint accounts now.
I feel a lot calmer, although I don't know how I'll feel on Thursday!! I am going shopping tomorrow lunchtime to look for some nice but cheap clothes. I hate my entire warderobe!
Hi JCJ, so pleased meeting went well. It is true that knowledge is power. Not things we ever expected to need to know but then again life happens. I am glad your sister was a good support, with what these meetings cost it really is helpful to take a 2nd pair of ears,unfortunately I didn't realise I had a gap between my ears 'til after 2 visits! I know the hating your wardrobe feeling, clothes are so much cheaper at the moment. I actually nipped into S......ys supermarket for some milk and came out with a load of things to wear for �100.00. I was really pleased I can spend that on a pair of Jeans and a top,which I then feel obliged to keep forever because they were expensive, now I can just recycle them and not feel guilty. Hope you find some things really nice does wonders for the PMA.
I can feel myself starting to stress. Separating the finances is proving harder then I thought, or more complicated. Stupid damn red tape, and I am stressing about what to bring up tomorrow.
I don't want this to be a hideous interaction. There are 3 things that could be brought up.
1. Most urgent - the bank account and loan. 2. That I want to divorce him - my solicitor says adultary is the cleanest if I don't want to go down the non-fault route which I don't. 3. Splitting the proceeds of the house.
But at the same time I want us to have a nice time together (my DBing urges are coming out again!) and this seems a lot to dicuss in one night. I think the most important is number 1. I could play it by ear with regards to the rest or I am wondering if we should take the bull by the horns and go for it. Sigh, all this will be in a restaurant, this seems very public to me!
Also, I haven't been able to find anything nice to wear... lol, I know this is a side issue but it is stressing me out a lot too
Feeling a bit like my head is going to explode and I need to get things in perspective. Any pointers on how to handle these kinds of conversations would be great!
