I am seeing alot of this, all over the boards, not just you. There is, especially in the sitchs where the WAS is not out the door, an sense of expectation. You are all expecting your spouses to act and do a certain way--the problem is, they are half checked out. They are not capable of living up to your expectations right now.
What if your H had schizophrenia and his personality turned on a dime due to circumstances beyond his control. What if he developed a brain tumor and it affected his memory and recall, making you a shadow in his life? What if he was in a tragic accident that made any type of sexual intimacy impossible for him? Would you walk out on him then? I am thinking not.
I told you a long time, this is not easy and it is not fun. But in the long run, you will learn a lot about who YOU are on the inside, where it counts. You can learn to love your spouse in a way and at a level that amazes even you, and no matter how your marriage works out, you will be able to look yourself in the mirror knowing that you fought the good fight and did all in your power for you, your family, your marriage, and your spouse.
You set yourself up constantly to shoot yourself in the foot. 180s do not produce change overnight. GAL does not produce change overnight. The changes HAVE to be consistent, long term changes that you want to make for you before you will get a true reaction for your H, good, bad, or indifferent. True loving detachment comes when you will still love him no matter what his reaction is, you will not allow him to bait you because you have grown past it, and you will continue to lie your life with the best interest of all in the back of your mind.
Living God's blessigns with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
