Alright, so what exactly should I be doing right now? Keep in mind my big fear is that he still has feelings for the ex-OW and will start working on reconciling things with her even though she now has a new boyfriend and has her ex chasing her too. (Both of these guys are rich....yeah, she's that girl and my H is not rich. I'm not that girl.)
I know this: I'm detaching. What exactly does that entail? I know I am going to stop calling him unless absolutely necessary or I can be incredibly funny/interesting. It used to be a situation where I would organize the accounts and financing and tell him what to pay when. I've since learned how to pay all the bills myself, except for his cell phone bill. So I don't need to contact him about that, except to let him know how much he can take out and use for gas. What if he wants me to come over to ML? We've already agreed I will do that because of the intimacy and frankly, the need. Are there any more rules to that? I'm going to keep GALing which is tennis, yoga, exercise, time with S, time with girlfriends and plain old me time. I'm going to completely let H take care of S for the next two weekends that H has S. And every weekend there after. I figure I may do dinner with them, but that's it. I can just see H inviting me over to ML and help with S, so there's my catch 22 I need to figure out if it happens. Maybe, don't go home until really late? Not sure on that one, but will cross that bridge if I come to it. Yesterday, H texted me when he was done with teaching his class. I asked him if he wanted to join us for dinner and he did. Do I stop doing that? Or just cut back? Or leave it as is? I want to be able to interact with H face to face as much as possible, but maybe I need to be less available...???? We aren't going to be communicating by phone or text much anymore, so not sure what to do there. And guess in terms of shrinking my brain space about ex-OW is to just do it....but does anyone have any suggestions on how to do that? I can work on the confidence part of all of this. That's actually the easy part here. The only time I dropped my confident side is when this first started and I was trying to talk some sense into him, which I have since learned how bad that is and how it pretty much never works.
I also need to figure who the me I want to be is. But that is something for me to figure out all by myself. I'll start working on a list of the attributes I like, dislike and etc.
