We have made it to the other side 4

[Treese]

Hi YR....I've been away from the boards for a little while..just trying to get by day by day...Hey, my DB Mom....while I have gotten a life and am trying to keep busy, I occasionally will let my mind get away from me, and let my H and his OW invade my space...grrrrrr....last night I was sitting at my computer doing my project and all of a sudden I started missing H...the companionship, the sharing happy moments, talking about the kids, laughing...waking in the middle of the night and reaching over to touch someone, only to find that side of the bed empty...I miss having a husband, a best friend....H doesn't call, basically ignores me...I have gone dark...only texts about son who he has seen only 4 times in 2 months...I have depended on family and friends but I feel bad doing that, I feel bad leaving my son, I dont' want him to think I'm going away also..I was thinking to myself that I would never treat my worst enemy this way...according to my H....I dont exsist...he has a new life, he has moved on and so should I...I feel the depression, the sadness, I'm on meds...I go out...I love on my children, but how do you not miss your spouse...the thoughts of my H going on vacation with OW in a few weeks settles in...I'll be home on spring break...I've packed up the rest of my H's things, mainly because it hurts too bad to look at it any longer...I'm giving it away...he hasn't asked for it in over a year....he doesnt need it I guess...I'm only venting all this cause every once in a while I need to..otherwise it builds and I explode....my pillow is getting flat from punches....I guess I am realizing what he has said to me over and over to be true...he's moved on, done, we need to move forward for closure...I do deserve to be happy, to be the center of someones world...I made my family the center of my world..

Sorry for the long post....I just needed to get it off my chest..I wish I had that crystal ball....I'm stuck as to what to do...

Thanks for listening mom....