Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

CL and peacetoday,
I think you are right about transferrence of negative feelings onto me/marriage. I think my H has wanted to avoid coundeling and perhaps especially MC becasue he said he doesn't want to look in the past-its too painful. He won't agree that sometimes you have to go through pain/deal with the past to come out better in the present and future. My H does accept that he has made some stupid decisions these last few months and I think there are times when he has clarity and doesn't understand how he got to where he is right now. He has alot of shame and self-blame, but he also has the knee-jerk reaction of getting mad at me rather than what's really behind his anger. I'm not sure how far he'll go with therapy-I guess too soon to tell.