Walk Away German Wife (WAGW)

[PortlandDad]

*sigh*

In accordance with prophecy, she was firmly back in the "What I'm doing is right for me" mode again this morning. Had a brief e-mail exchange with her before I left for work.

Curse you OM (Shakes fist)!

[jaguilar]

She can't have her cake and eat it too. You did good PortlandDad.

[smith18]

This selfish abandonment of her kids is really hard for me to believe. Her future long term relationship with her children is forever going to be tarnished. Nothing you can do - it is the path she is being lead down.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of OM and that his arms be too short to scratch. I fart in his general direction.

[jaguilar]

That was so surprising to me when I joined here, to read about so many women who leave their kis with dad. I just don't get it.

[PortlandDad]

She rationalizes it by saying that the kids had a choice to stay here with me or to go to Germany with her, and they made their choice. C'mon! If you are a 12yr old socialite girl, or a 13 yr old boy who doesn't speak any German, would you want to uproot and go live in a 1-bedroom apartment in Germany with a bi-polar mother?

Nice curse, KK. I'd settle for just a single tick with Lyme disease...

jag: yep, sadly it is an epidemic.

[jaguilar]

I think my wife is bi-polar. She did see a C about 5 years ago. 5 years ago she said she wnated a divorce. So I asked her why did she stop seeing the C. She said because the C was leading down the path of leaving me to get a divorce. So I asked her, then why didn't you get a divorce? I neber got an answer. She had been on zoloft; then stopped taking it. Have you had any luck getting doctors involved or talking to her about getting on any meds? My W says she is fine. But even her parents/sister know that something si wrong.

Just amazes me how some family members will just stand and wait for the train wreck.

[PortlandDad]

Yesterday was a hard day. I had e-mail barrages with the wife pretty much the whole day about stuff. At the end, I finally told her that we should get a divorce. It was my first admission of that since last August when she came home from Germany. She asked if we could do an uncontested divorce, so I laid it all out for her:

* I will have sole custody.
* She gets 4 contiguous weeks of visitation w/kids per year
* We split the travel costs
* She pays me CS
* No spousal support
* When the house sells, she gets 25k (we have 156k equity)
* Property / assets are already divided

She agreed to it all. Financially, I guess I got a pretty sweet deal. I would rather have stayed in the R, but we shall see what this cold dose of reality does to her thinking.

[AFWAW]

Wow, that sucks! I hope for your sake that gets her thinking. At least you get sole custody of the kids. I wouldn't exactly call it a sweet deal but all things considered, it isn't the worst deal. Sorry it has come to this.

[smith18]

Filing is kind of a final last resort technique and should only be done if you are serious about ending the marriage.

One thing to let you know about, is that in Washington county, you will be required to attend parenting classes ("Kids Turn"). Not sure about the requirements for your wife since she is only going to have visitation custody. Here is the information...

http://www.ojd.state.or.us/wsh/FamilyLaw/documents/KidsTurnRegistrationForm.pdf

My XW and I attended at the same time, but they split all spouses into different rooms. We also had our kids attend their own classes, but that is optional.

[PortlandDad]

Well, my "spies" report a flurry of activity today on her part. Seems she is looking up child custody laws and support groups and such. I think something is happening, but I'm not exactly sure what. I'm kind of hoping that she reverses herself; that will give me an out, but we shall see.