As an aside, when WAW rewrites history orally, do they actually believe what they are saying, or, do they know what they are saying is not true but try and change history to suit themselves?
Is this one of the reasons they are so angry as my wife says she has been unhappy for years and for the last 2 -3 years has been "trying to hold it together for the family, but cannot do it anymore". I do not believe this is the case but then again....
Mark,
I can only tell you what my wife said. She said that "I KNEW what I was doing was wrong, and it's like I had this little voice inside my head TELLING me it was. But I learned how to drown it out, and to even make it go completely away much of the time. Toward the end (referring to right before we reconciled) it just got louder and louder and louder until it was practically SHOUTING at me, and I could no longer tune it out."
She also reported KNOWING what she was doing was wrong, but was able to "compartmentalize it" in her brain (the kids and me and her family were in a different "compartment"), which also fits what I've read about the wayward mind and seen reported by others.
The fog is thick. Many women and men report NOT EVEN REMEMBERING entire things they did, or conversations they had -- even very significant ones. Hope4Us, for example, told us last week that his wife doesn't even remember an entire vacation to Disney!
PEAs (the brain's "love" chemicals) are nasty, powerful things, and it is why I believe -- as do many others -- that affairs needed to be treated first and foremost as an ADDICTION.
Whatever your wife's involvement may be with someone else, she's certainly displaying all of these classic wayward signs, and even non-infidelity MLC describes much of the same "re-writing of marital history." (Which may just be duplicative, as probably 90% of MLCs involve affairs anyway).
