Amy, Monday and Tuesday were the best days I have had in such a long time. I just thanked God for allowing me those two days to feel more like a human being again. I want so badly to be able to get involved in doing the things I was doing in Church before I got this down in my health. I have not given up hope b/c I still pray that God may see fit to restore unto me enough that I can just get back to where I was a few years ago. I would be so happy, you would probably hear me shout all the way to your house.....LOL.
I am so glad you are feeling better today, honey. As I told you....you are allowed to go through these feelings you have now....just as long as you don't hold on to them and let them take over and rule your life. You don't want that. I think I know you well enough to know you do not want to live a miserable life like that. I also know that you are going to work hard to get to where you need to be.......and just like with everything else.....it may not be in the way you think it will happen, but God is going to see you through this and everything is going to be okay for you and the boys. You got too many folks praying for you not to come out a winner in life. Just b/c this R did not stick for life--does not mean that AmyM is a failure and I'll beat anyone up that thinks that for one second.....including you (lol). A divorce was not your decision and you did all you could do.....we know that, your friends and family know that, your H knows that, God knows that, and YOU know that. So, you don't be a victim to this situation. With God on your side, you come through a winner in your life. Some days you may not "feel" much like a winner, but we cannot allow our emotions to rule us. It took me years and years to learn that lesson, sweetie, and I suppose that is why I keep saying it to you now. Yes, we have those feelings (good or bad) and we learn to be in charge of them instead of them being in charge of us. As you grow (and you will) you are going to learn more how to do that. You already have to a huge extent.
You go make yourself a great day today, okay?
Love ya, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
