Why do you tell her that you're going to "leave her alone" if you work together.
She's kicked you out, you're who knows how many miles away, and YOU WON'T LEAVE GER ALONE! The way you act, she knows you won't leave her alone if you work together. You'll be whining, begging, pleading to her about something all the time. That's what you do.
I don't know who posted that you need to leave her alone for one day, but do it. Start there. Please don't tell us how hard it is, etc. Kevin, we've all been where you are. We get it. There are people on these boards who have been left behind who have CANCER! People who are literally looking death in the eye. Your story is not so tragic or, unfortunately, original. These WAW's are NOT original -- this is why people tell you what to do. It's a script, Kevin. If you would really stick to it, you might see some results.
And don't just post "ya", like you always do, and then end up texting, e-mailing, calling her sounding needy, clingy and pestering.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ya, she does treat me like a child. I guess I bring it on myself.
Earlier today I told her I have accepted that this D is going to happen. So I told her what I would like to do is form a working partnership/relationship with her for the kids sake. I said there isn't any reason why things have to be bad between us. Lets at least get along for the kids and be there to rely on each other. I told her as soon as I get up and going I want to be able to help her in any way that she needs. I think it would be best for all of us if we just have a good working relationship and do things with the kids and let them at least see us being friends. Lets not keep bad blood between us, I do want to be her friend.
I just felt like I needed to journal that. I guess my thinking was if I tell her I have accepted it and try and work at a partnership with her, maybe that would improve things at least. Doesn't appear to have done that. She is just treating me like a child again.
I just thought it better to show her I am not her enemy and we can having a working partnership in this.
She blocked me from IM.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I guess the more threads you post, the more pages you are allowed with time.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I told her as soon as I get up and going I want to be able to help her in any way that she needs.
Don't ever tell her that again. I'm speaking from experience I would CONSTANTLY ask my wife if she needs help, I'll do whatever blah blah blah...It NEVER worked she would go out of her way to get someone else to help. When I stopped offering is when she started asking the BIG thing is I don't always help, I can't I have my OWN LIFE.
You are 100% focusing on your wife for YOUR happiness, been there done that, until you realize you can't do that anymore, you're going to be stuck.
Last edited by volleydog; 03/25/0901:21 PM.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
