What is the motivation behind a "nice old fashioned power struggle?" Seriously, why cut your nose off to spite your face just because you are pissed about something?
I've been puzzled for years about this. My ex seems to love engaging in them. He does it with me and his children. I go along with Brian's feelings. Get pissed about the dog, get it out into the open and then have some great make up sex.
My ex got pissed at me back in April because I moved out of state with the boys. It's only 4 hours away from him but he got pissed none the less. I validated his feelings, told him I would work in anyway he needed with him to make sure he had as much contact with our youngest as he needed. You would think saying to someone, "I know you are upset, I understand why you are upset and I am sorry you are upset and will do all I can to make this easy on you" would help bring an end to the conflict. No with my ex!!
I've engaged in power struggles myself. Even to the point that I am aware that I am being silly and costing myself. I finally come to the realization though that it's silly and put a stop to it. Anybody know why there are some who will continue the power struggle even after the other person attempts to give in and give over? My kids have driven themselves crazy this summer trying to fix the situation with a father who refuses to call and come see them because he is pissed that we have moved.
Your husband could have gotten laid last night but instead he chose to be pissed over the dog. Is it really about the dog at all?
Brian my ex used to wake up with a raging hard on too. There I'd be, all cute and warm and receptive...ready, willing and able and he would go shower and "use his vivid imagination." Nothing feels better than knowing someone is in the mood...needs a little sexual relief and prefers to do it himself with his lovely wife laying in bed wanting him. WHEWWW!! Talk about taking the crunch out of your cereal. Does a real number on the self-esteem. Cathy
