Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

Stillhope, I haven't read your posts and don't know what your sitch is, but if you can say something like "running off to wifey" it tells me a lot. "Wifey" sounds like someone you pat on the head and tell her not to worry her pretty little head. Or worse, a mommie who dispenses band aids for sissy little boys who skin their knees & cry. NOT the life partner & soul mate whom you respect & love more than your own life.

Your wife better be the first person you tell. As guys age, they don't always get erections from thinking about sex like they used to. They need touch. They have to tell their partners when that happens. Why? Because the absence of an erection will make her think she doesn't turn him on anymore, or he's not interested in her for whatever reason. Ya think things will go downhill from there? Like a herd of bobsleds!

That is not really ED, however. ED is when it either never comes up or it isn't firm emough for penetration and it happens more often than not. Then you get into worrying aboaut the morning condition and wondering if it still comes up during sleep. There are tests for that. There's a whole depressing questionnaire (available on line) that evaluates the level of difficulty, so to speak. Then there are visits to the urologist, tests, fears of a bleak prognosis. Just asking the family Dr. for a script may be all one needs, but the first time that nifty little pill doesn't work, you get that herd of bobsleds again, all setting world records.

Getting thru something that serious is a team effort. That means you tell your partner the truth and make sure she understands its not her fault.

There's a list of "Why women think their husbands stopped having sex" in a book called "When He's Just Not Up for it Anymore" that'd break your heart if you knew how women feel. Out of 22 reasons, I thought about maybe 8 of them. ED wasn't even on my radar. But his being angry, depressed or not finding me attractive anymore were my top 3. Like a belt across the gut with a ball bat that went on for months.

So, guys, when it happens to you, tell her and tell her she still turns you on & its not her fault. And yes, she'll know something goin' on & be worryin' about it long before you think about telling her. Cowboy up.
Jayce