Yes I think so. The job I have now is the bane of my existence so to speak. and this new one is what I have been working toward for years.
NEXT is me just sheding burden
I could type all day about how I have ended up being on shift but the short of it is it gets old, real old if you enjoy being around your family.
Almost every argument my wife and I have ever had contains the fact that I work shift and always have and I promised I would only be on it for five years when we first met. With my shift you have a lot of time off to yourself. Since we work 12 hour days you only work 15 days a month. Every argument would go into resentment of that free time. So I never heard that she was lonely and missed me. All I ever heard was a sort of petty jealously that I ahd days just to sit around but she didn't.
It isn't until recently that I understood better. I have been discussing life with two women I know. Both married to guys with similar schedules. Both have defended me and said my wife should be more supportive of my need to work shift. But the funny thing is both started talking about that same feeling of resentment they have because their husband gets a day without kids and doens't do anything but play video games. It was like being in an episode of the twilght zone. It was if they were reading from the same script. They used the same words my wife did. I never really understood that it didn't matter what I thought. My wife was dealing with her percption and I should not have dimissed that so easily.
I remeber one night after she told me she wanted a divorce we had argued and then when she was crying I laid down next to her and held her. All she kept saying was how lonely she was because I wasn't around and how she didn't want to continue to live alone. That night was the first time I ever really heard her and how it really was me not being here at night and on weekends that bothered her.
Sad and the problem is that it always bothered me also. But like any trouble marriage there is a flip side. I also felt pressure from my wife to make the money I was making. As a matter of fact she has become obsessd with money (income). So I was between a rock and a hard place.
Once again sad! You know my therapist that I saw several times when this first happened was amazed. She told me once, "you make really good money, your a caring guy and you go out of your way to help peole, don't get down on yourself, it's not your fault" and my response - " I had five years to find another job and didn't hardly try, you can change your entire life in five years! how can I fell postive about that?"
So yea, this job is a great thing. I just wish it didn't take a divorce and the threat of losing my daughter to get me out of my pathetic state of complacincy and pity.
