Sorry I've been away. I've just been busy w/school and my D.
Things have been going very well as of late and I'll fill you all in on that soon. I'm posting right now because I'm disappointed in myself for taking the bait and responding back to XW.
I have D this week on Thursday and Friday and they are early release dates for her, so I asked XW if she had any ideas about what to do or if she had the phone number for after school care so I could find out if they were open on 1/2 days.
Well, XW sent back a scathing e-mail accusing me of being a poor parent and saying that it was my responsibility to figure out what to do on these days.
She continued to accuse me of "barraging her w/texts and phone calls" and said there will be no more adjustments in the schedule w/out "two weeks' notice." She also said she'd go to court to get this settled if needed.
As hard as I tried to refrain, I responded. That is why I'm down right now.
So, I asked her why she was so angry and if this was the type of relationship she wanted to have. I asked her if this was what would be in D's best interest. I agreed to her "non-flexible" schedule request, but told her to be careful of what she wished for as this is a two-way street.
I let her know that although she has primary physical custody, she can not dictate the terms of our custody as that is something we have to jointly agree on, especially concerning the holidays.
I pointed out to her that I have joint legal custody of D so she can't choose to keep her out of school to prolong a vacation w/out my consent.
She told me I was going to start paying for Friday morning day care to which I replied that I'm already paying for it through child support so I won't be making a double-payment to her.
I let her know that I never call for her, but to talk w/D and the only reason I text her is to answer questions about things that are still left unsettled (i.e. the ring).
I told her if she wanted to go to court, that is fine, but the documentation of all the texts and e-mails shows that I'm not the aggressor.
I asked her to choose what type of relationship she wants to have w/me concerning our D and let me know. I told her I wanted a relationship where we both worked together for D, but she'll need to decide the path she's choosing to take. I let her know I wish her and her BF well and hope they are happy together for a long time b/c both she and D deserve that. I let her know I have no ill will toward her, but she must choose for herself how she'll interact w/me and whether or not that is in the best interests of our D.
I finally told her that since we are no longer married, she doesn't have permission to get mad at me for her issues. I asked her to try to treat me w/respect when we communicate in the future.
I am so mad at myself, so I'm posting for my deserved 2X4s. I feel like an idiot for replying, but I guess I couldn't take it anymore. I guess I'm not as big of a man as I thought I was.
So, I'm down as this has put a damper on my day. I'll recover, but for now, I need to take my lumps.
