In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[MrBond]

No going dark is when you have no contact with them at all. Think about it as going dim.

You do things to make yourself happy that don't include her. You can invite her to participate in activities with your kids, but if she doesn't want to participate, then no big deal.

This way she can see your changes and see how positive and happy you are with or without her.

Make her wonder.