I know you love your MIL and want to make sure she maintains her relationship with Kendall. But at this time you are just asking for too much from yourself. You need time to heal from all this damage your H has caused. You didnt just get the walk away spouse. You got the whole package, the Ow, the new child. It is just too much. You will not be able to heal and get strong for your sake and for Kendall's while you still have so much contact with your H and with his family. It is just not possible.
You are putting his feelings above your own. Why did you feel the need to make him feel better by basically promising him you were going to be a good girl and have a good relationship with his son?? You didnt need to do that. If it comes way down the line in the future naturally then good for you, you are better than most of us but right now you are trying to make him feel better about the hell he has and is putting you thru. It is time to stop.
One day you will notice that he no longer matters to you and neither do his feelings. But until you can get to that day you need to protect yourself. You had come so far and then this hit you hard. It is time to refocus. Right now at this time in your life, he is not your friend, you do not need to be concerned with his feelings and you need to be a little selfish and it is pisses him off, oh well.....
Back away from all of them. Your inlaws, your Bil and especially your H. Tell them all you need a time out and will let them know when you are ready for contact. They are only going to continue to spend more and more time with H and OW and talk more and more and more about them and baby. It is really ok to say this is not in my best interest right now....If they truly care about you they will abide by your wishes.
Please stop doing this to yourself. Fill your days up with Kendall and friends and your own family....Stay busy....let yourself heal.
I know this will be hard but you will find as the days go by that it gets easier and easier and you will feel better and better and H will no longer be such a presence for you....If there is anyway for you to have someone handle the exchanges with Kendall it would be good for you at least for a short time or in the alternative make them in your safety zone. He can come to you for pick ups and drop offs.
This will get better, You will get stronger and the hurt will diminish to a point for you to easily handle. Just be proactive in getting there. He is not your problem to fix, His feeling are no longer your concern. Does it really matter to you at this point if he likes you???? You need to tell yourself everyday that you are better off to be out of the mess his life has become until you finally believe it. It does not make you a bad person or a failure that this happened. You are certainly no less than the OW by any means. Stop taking that part of this so personally....It was never about you or her.......you married this man believing what he was selling at the time and had faith in it....he could not keep up the charade as it seems to be his nature to run and be mean when he doesnt get his way and play guilt trips on people so he gets what he wants....she puts up with it because she cannot attract anyone better.....you on the other hand have a whole world to choose from....so you tell me....who is the winner here????
