Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Good points! I can't tell about how fast my H wants a divorce-we've talked about separating bank accounts(easiest step to do) but he hasn't pushed for it-so we are still joint. I think he feels pressure to make a decision for himself, since his apartment lease is up at the end of June. So by the end of May I think is when he hopes to make a decision. I have a hard time dealing with this A. I don't think I need to make an ultimatum about that though-in my letter it was more that 'if you see us being friends while you off with the OW, I don't think I can do that'. Remaining friends through all of this has been important to both of us, but difficult given the circumstances.
I guess I just want my H t want to continue the efforts he started to see if we "work" or not. His therapist gave us homework to go on a hike together every week without talking about the R. I was also to "check in" with him every day to see how he was doing and rebuild the trust between us. These things all have gone by the wayside.