The Flames are Still Rising....

[blindsided1]

The weekend was okay. I spent time with my in-laws. I dropped K off on Sunday with her Dad and I was worried about it. But, it was okay. I was a little distant. He could tell, he tried to crack a joke. I wasn't into it. I told him I was going to pick up his mom and we were going shopping. Well, about a half hour later, MIL gets a text from OW...a picture of K and her new "brother", 1 minute later H texts another. They both knew I was with MIL. I felt like they were rubbing it in. So, I texted H and just said "pls try to be a little more sensitive. U know I'm with your Mom. I understand you're excited but please don't shove this in my face, right now. I'm doing the best I can. Ok?" I know I should have just left it. But, I couldn't.

When he brought her home. It was okay. He didn''t come in the house. I took the baby in to my Mom and went back out. I told him that I didn't want him to think that I was being distant because I hated him or something. I told him that this situation is extrememly painful for me and right now K and I are the priority to me. I said that eventually Dane and I will have a fine R, but he is NOT my concern at this moment. He doesn't know me or K and we don't know him. I told him that it was really hard to watch him build a family with the woman who essentially destroyed mine. To watch him be there during her pregnancy, and now and I had to do it alone, and I'm his wife. He just looked at me as I had tears welling up. I have tears welling up now as I write this. I found out that he didn't take K on Friday because he was golfing instead. He hugged me and left. I haven't spoken or had any contact with him since. I am trying really hard not to hate him and hurt, too much. My girlfriend said that I spend too much time worrying about how he feels. I do. But, that's because I love him still. Before he left, I just told him that just because I need to be away from him right now, doesn't mean I don't care for him. I do and always will. But, this is the only way for me to be healthy for K and I.