WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

I'm really torn on the counseling thing though. If she was really just going for me, wouldn't she just act like a bump on the log and not say anything or just through jabs constantly. She does participate in the introspective, so I think. I have my appoint with my therapist tomorrow (who is also my counselor) so perhaps I should talk to her and get her opinion.

I see your point about the hug. I wasn't going to say anything but put that in there to put something positive out there - I hadn't thought that she was just doing it to make herself feel better. It's a tough call as in the past, I never would give her a hug (at least a long one, nor with any emotion). If I don't give it to her, can't it be interpurted as I'm hurt and pouting?

That is an interesting point about mom to her child. It is a real reversal as in the past she had said I treated her more like a child than a wife. I'm going to have to think about that one.

Also, I only responded to one of her emails. I didn't respond to all of them. In fact she sent me two more after my last email, just misc stuff, that I didn't think needed response. I always try to end the day with her sending the last email. I rarely send the first text or email (only if it is something related to the kid's schedule)

Tonite is my 3 year old's b'day so I'm not going to bring up any relationship discussion so I don't ruin the day.

I want to ask her to consider waiting till after a B'day party for the 2 boys (every year we throw them a combined B'day party as their B'days are only 2 weeks apart) before moving out. I'm trying to figure out how to bring it up. I think I'm going to use the technique the counselor suggested.

I was thinking something along the following:

"My thought is out of fairness and consideration for our kids, can you wait till after their B'day party before moving out? It is suppose to be their day and I don't think it would be very respectful if they were not the focus of the party."

Any thoughts? I'm trying to get her to be part of the "decision" making process.