Spellfire #4 - Sparks, but no Flames

[pearlharbr]

Spellfire, not sure this will help but thought I'd chime in. I totally understand your W saying she's just not into it, but does seem that way after you get going. That is exactly how I was. I still suspect she has severely low levels of testosterone. Without it I just had no urges or desire to start ML, but once we got going I did enjoy it very much. I would always wonder afterwards (to myself, never to xBF) why I didn't want to do that more often because I felt so connected to him in addition to the release. But I never did, the desire just wasn't there and I didn't think about it long and hard enough to realize that it wasn't normal.

Once I got off the bc pills and my testosterone returned, ooh boy. I was thinking about it a lot and definitely wanted to ML, but I couldn't since we were already separated and in a very bad place by then. Cruel irony.

I know she has refused any medical testing and that's a shame. I would recommend patience and reinforcing with her the idea that ML is vital to the connection. If she ever shows signs of wanting to know if there is something medically wrong with her, there are many articles on the internet about bc pills causing a drop in libido (assuming she's on bc pills). Or she can go to an endocrinologist to have her hormone levels tested.

Keep up the good work.