Ok Puppy I don't understand your, "Except for"??????, coment please elaborate.
So should I totally just frame my relationship with my wife as being over?
I still want to be married to her obviously, and I still want to work on reconciliation.
I don't understand how I can still be working on detachment, 180s, etc. and still work on this.
Or should I just totally move on with my life, because most of the time that sounds like the advice that i am getting here.
Oh and Puppy as far as me standing up for myself as being a 180, it actually isn't. Matter of fact it's my old way, my old way was to fully assert what ans how 'I' felt things should be. So when I here your advice as to fully stand up for myself I get cornfused. I am currently trying to show her that I can be a compassionate flexible guy, before I wasn't so much.
You see she often felt as though she was walking on eggshells; how will he react to this, if I ask him to do this what will he expect in return. She told me she felt as though my lover for her was conditional.
So I am trying to show her in my actions that she can feel safe to ask me to do something and there won't be strings attached. I also want her to feel safe to tell me stuff and not wonder how I will react, I just want her to feel that I am in her corner no matter what.
So how do I do all of this when I am being told on here to stand up for myself and detach. She had always felt I was detached before and that my needs came before hers.
