Sounds like every trip I have taken recently. The issue is in your expectations and assumptions. You need to detach and no expect her to call at all. For a while I tried to call every morning and every night to stay in touch while traveling, and found that my W just did not want to talk to me, so the calls were strained and pursuing.
Recently, I have just tried to set the standard that when one of us is traveling, the other (the one who has the kids) calls so that the boys can talk to the traveling parent before bedtime. That's it.
My plan was not to call at all, but plans changed when my son made me tear up while dropping him off at daycare that morning I was leaving cause he knew I was going on a trip and wouldnt' let go of me. And he looked so sad watching me walk out the door. And I didn't think my W would call if I left it up to her to call. Plus, with a 2hr time difference and being with 10guys on a bachelor party in Vegas, I didn't know what a good time for her to reach me would have been anyway. We were literally out all day and all night everyday and were eating at odd times.
I try to stay away from any future talk, but seems like she's the one who always starts it.
I'm trying to focus on only me..and not analyze everything thats said or done, but its hard. Even today, I had to put my son in the car so she would take him to daycare, and then I watched from the door as they backed out of the garage. I purposely focused on not saying bye to her nor waving bye cause I kinda feel that I am always the one to say hi or bye or goodmorning first, or else she won't. So I just kept watching the car back out and as I was about to reach up to hit the garage door button, she did wave bye to me. I was actually surprised she did it. But it did make me feel good and any little positive like that, no matter how small, gives me encouragement/strength to keep going. And I really need it these days.
