It's typically of little use if one of the partners is still involved in an affair.
Puppy
That is what I've gathered. I spoke to a therapist and she said that she can do "divorce mediation counseling" which would be designed to help us transition easier through the process. Of course I'm sure she'd ask if there was any hope for the M, and of course I know how I feel, but how W feels is a big mystery. Of course, hearing that things could be saved from someone else might help her make a decision easier.
All that being said - her problems run a little deeper with the mental imbalances that have become apparent, and I think it could have been kickstarted by some PTSD due to her father dying.
I'm not sure how much the A continues, I know MIL hasn't been babysitting for her any longer, and is making her stick around their house more often now. OM works most days, so their time is very very limited at this point. Saw him this morning, he didn't even look over my way. Right now I'm sure they keep things alive via phone/text message but I'm not sure how long that will last, especially when she makes it clear she can't expect to carry away a lot of $$$ through the D like he was thinking.
I guess I do look 'rich' when he is a guy who lives with his parents and drinks all the time and I have a house, truck, big screen television, paintings, and all sorts of nice things for being younger than him.
But all things being equal... 27 year old with 3 kids. I'm not rich at all. I just don't blow all my $$$ on alcohol and cigarettes and actually invest in my future.
Based on the amount of damage she has done (or at least attempted to do - I had most finances/assets segregated) there are some extraordinary measures which would have to take place before we could ever reconcile.
1. New phone with no privacy 2. No privacy on computer 3. Move away somewhere else 4. No hanging out with opposite sex friends 5. Remorse/Counseling/Mental Health Evaluation
She wouldn't accept any of those I'm sure. And I can't really see myself budging on taking extreme measures to save the M. She already burned up her trust, so I don't think those requests are unreasonable.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
