You are absolutely right. My girlfriend that I'm living with said it best: "She isn't here. She has no idea how much he's around you and how he acts around you. She only knows what he tells her." So I was just respectful to her. I did let her in a couple of things, and he could hear me, to let her know I'm not sitting her like a crazy woman trying to be a crazy woman. There are outside factors screwing with me. But I said a million times, "You're right Nanny.....yes, you're right.....no, no, you're right.....we'll figure it out....yes I know and I love you both very much too.....and S is everyone's priority.....I'm not mad.....I want you to open up to us and say what's on your mind.....we're all family....etc." Completely agreeable. My MIL and FIL have both been very very good to me. I will not deny that and I will remember it always and treat them just like they've treated me.
