Sounds like every trip I have taken recently. The issue is in your expectations and assumptions. You need to detach and no expect her to call at all. For a while I tried to call every morning and every night to stay in touch while traveling, and found that my W just did not want to talk to me, so the calls were strained and pursuing.
Recently, I have just tried to set the standard that when one of us is traveling, the other (the one who has the kids) calls so that the boys can talk to the traveling parent before bedtime. That's it.
My W does the same thing, and has been for months - in one minute she wants to talk about a new car or refinancing our mortgage, and in the next minute she is completely distant. As I see it, she does not really want to make hard plans that are separate, but at the same time is unwilling or unable to commit to the R or to take any steps toward reconciling - so she kind of bounces back and forth.
It's hard, but try to stay away from both the long term discussions and the pursuing (calling her, expecting her to call, etc). Sandi's advice is very good with the one exception that I sometimes find that when I follow it too closely, I start doing it to influence my W, and then I am back into the attachment, following her every word and looking for effect, changes or trends. You really need to step back and focus on yourself. Believe me, that get's easier with time and practice - I'm not there yet, but am getting better.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
