WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

We had talked about the "miss" part last nite.

She said she missed the boys but didn't miss me.

She explained the feeling as how she is excited to see a friend she hasn't seen in a while. One would get excited about hearing about what's happened as well as the anticipation of spending time together.

So maybe "miss" is a bad word for it, to me it sounds like it's more looking forward to enjoying spending time with someone. It sounds like right now she doesn't enjoy spending time/seeing me. She said that when she is around me and in the house, she just sees the negativity.

I guess that's how a physical separation can help as it gets her away from having all the negativity in front of her. We had talked about that during dinner as well.

She also said that she's still planning on wearing her ring (not the real one that we never resized because I kept putting it off, but the "fake" one that she bought herself), and she's planning on using the time to think, read, start her own therapy and even take some classes (cooking, aromatherapy) that she felt that she couldn't when she was with me. She said she wasn't planning on changing her "lifestyle". She explained that meaning that she's not planning on turning her life into a wild party/happy hour.

We do have to still come up with a custody agreement. I had told her that it's important for the kids to have both parents in their lives. I had also told her that the stability for the kids is also important so that they should stay in their family home as much as possible. I'm going to propose the reverse of the typical custody arrangement for her. Where I will keep the kids most of the time, but she can visit every other weekend. I know that won't go well though - it didn't the last time I brought it up.

She is really expecting 50/50. I suspect that the best I can hope for is to have the kids in the family home Mon-Thurs nite so that their school week is stable and stay with her Fri-Sun nite. So that would be 57/43. I negotiate multi-million $ business contracts in my job but no other negotiations have been so important with such high stakes.