My college roommate leaves this afternoon. We've hauled tons of crap out of the house, have great stuff for Goodwill and an ample amount for a garage sale. The garage, den, kitchen, parts of the basement exude a type of peace of clarity and relaxation.
I shredded a few pictures of him (feel cleansing), threw away knickknacks he'd given to me I'd always found precious (because he'd given them to me), and kept letting go in ways I didn't know.
Getting rid of stuff is wonderful and liberating. As long as I feel tied and a commitment to stuff (and/or staying in the house) I'm still stuck. This is a new sticky type of tar goop. Early in the process it was my complete dependence on him that I had to release myself from. Now it's my dependence on things bringing me meaning rather than looking forward to a new start.
Once I think of going to the new, letting go of the old, and it being MY life, I emerge more and more. It's been incredible having my best friend here. She direct, caring (like a drill sargent but in a good way) and pounds in the basics of life through my thick skull. And we've worked nonstop.. last night until 2 AM. Today I'm going to do a walk through in the house and and get her recommendations on what to toss and keep. I want this momentum to keep going!
