Hi Sweetheart. I know you have been dreading the day that you had to tell your son how things were going to be. I also know you are scared to death that he is going to love the OW. But, let's get honest and serious here, okay? First of all, it would be better for his sake if he can love her and most of all that she can love your sons! Let's pray that she will be a good step-mom to them. That word even stings to hear it, doesn't it. Step-mom! Ugh! But, what if your sons hated her? Or what if she didn't like them? How horrible would their lives be from now on? They would hate going over there and you would stay upset at what she said or done while they were over there. Every time they came home and mentioned how they disliked OW, you would be upset all the time. Am I right?? You know I am, Amy. B/c you want what is best for your sons and you want their happiness above anything else in life. I know you do! So, since they more than likely will have a step-mom, then wouldn't it be best if they did like her and she could love them? Maybe they will grow to love her, who knows? But, remember this, sweetie, she will never, ever, be their mother. Nobody......NOBODY will ever replace you! They may grow to love her a lot, but they will never have the same feeling for any other person than they do you. That is just the bond that God set up for mothers and their children. Children even love bad mothers, don't they? Well, you are a great mother and they are always going to love you most of all. This OW and going to her house, etc. is all new and might even get exciting for them b/c she is going to put forth a lot of effort in trying to win them over to liking her and accepting her. But you don't have to try to win them over......b/c you already have them. So, don't be upset if and when they come back from visiting their dad and the OW and seem excited or happy over their visitation. It is b/c it is new and different and she is trying to show them a great time. They are the center of attention and your H and OW can be Santa Clause for a while (if you know what I mean) but eventually that will begin to wear off some.
Anyway, that is my love darts for ya! I think I may know a tiny bit of what is going around in that mind of yours. Don't worry sweetie.....okay? You will never be less that number one with your sons. Just don't make them "mama boys".......please. I married one of those types.....LOL.
Love you, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
