I know that I am going thru some stuff and may not be the best at giving advice, but something jumps out at me. It seems as though she is burnt out on all of the old tired stale relationship worries that have gotten in the way in the past. The fact that she doesn't want to 'go there' may be in the dynamic of how those discussions play out. If I were lucky enough to have gotten to the point you are at, I would drop all of the bad stuff in the past (at least while you are with her) and live up beat and happy in the moment. If the fear is pursuing, then don't pursue. Make plans each week, take the initiative to plan dinners, etc on your own. Invite her to join, if she says no or acts like she doesn’t want to be with you, simply follow thru on your own. Don’t even remind her that it was her idea. Just tell her that it is fine and maybe you can come another time.
Good luck and let me know what you think will work best.
I wouldnt' really consider where I am lucky or a place you want to be at either, cause I kinda believe that the reason we are still kinda amicable is because while at the same time I am working my DBing game, she may be working a game of how to try to make for an amicable divorce. That is something she has been pushing for since the bomb. Even both of us had different agendas going to MC for the few sessions we did do before she quit. I went in wanting to heal the marriage, and she was hoping for pre/post divorce counseling to make sure we are amicable in a separation and D.
But you're right...I should be really just looking for new restaurant or some new actvity that I'd like to do and maybe offer an invite like it was nothing big....if she goes for it...great...if not...oh well...as if.
