Hi Sara, when you were wanting people to debate the "Love is a Decision" topic, I could have given the negative side about a year ago.....maybe less. In fact, I did write quite a lengthy post to somebody about that. But, at that particular time, I was not in a "good place" and I was still angry over my stitch.
I have read in some books where the author does not believe in "falling" in love. They do not believe in falling "out" of love, either. Maybe another debate, I don't know.
I have come to think that people do fall in love (for a lack of a better term) and feel the passion and desire to be with that person. I believe that God gives us that desire and raises that libido or we would never reproduce (lol). I do, however, believe a person has control over who they fall in love with. I always told my kids that they would marry somebody they dated. Now days, people don't even "date"......they can just work with another person or have some other association with them and say they have fallen in love. I do believe that at some conscious or unconscious level that we still have control over "who" we allow feeling to enter. If we have a standard and a individual person does not meet that standard, then we may subconsciously write them off our list to fall in love with. I do believe that people can have very strong physical attraction at first sight, but I think you have to know that person a little bit before you actually "love" them. But, thank God for that sexual attraction!
It is after you have lived with that person and seen all their "uglies" and you can still say you love them.....that counts. Some people call that unconditional love....but I don't. I think that is a different subject and I have expressed my thoughts on that on other posts, so I won't get into it here.
In my stitch, I made the "choice" to stay in my M and to work at getting things back on track again. Call it choosing to love or whatever......that is what I did. At the time, there was no passion or physical attraction. I knew I loved my H but I thought it was more like loving a relative. I have found out that in time, your feelings that you once thought were gone.....can return if you put some effort into it.
I think the bottom line to all of this is the fact that we are creatures created with a will of our own who can make choices.....even about love. I don't think anyone has fallen in love with a person they did not want to love. Movies may appear that women are swept off their feet in spite of fighting their feelings, but I doubt that in real life it is that way. However, we females may fantasize of that happening.....LOL.
Oh well, just thought I would throw my thoughts out there for whatever it's worth.
Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
