She elaborated on where she stands at this point.--> she said that as time goes on she is more and more convinced that the only way she can truly take care of herself is if we divorce, separation is no longer an option. She says that she needs to process the past about the hurt I caused her and why she would let it happen. the only way she feels that she can truly do this is if we are divorced because otherwise there is to much ambiguity.
Oh puleeze -- gag me.
Sorry, couldn't resist. But that's just so immature and selfish (and yet so utterly SCRIPT).
Puppy
It's totally script. My W said almost the same cr@p to me word for word. It's all about me now, I have to figure out why I let you do what you did to me and I didn't leave, I have to figure out why I pick the men I pick, etc... She moved out into the other room a few months ago. Now she wants a legal separation. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were writing my situation in your posts.
Standard script stuff. It doesn't mean anything. The future is anybody's guess. Keep your head out of guessing. It's what I'm working on right now and have been for some time. When you see your mind wandering into the 'future' (which never exists) bring it back to NOW. To the task at hand.
You won't know where it all lands until you get there.
"I feel gulity that my wife has to move out of our bed and the thought that we may never share the same bed again is overwhelmingly painful of a thought! "
You're right - it is an overwhelmingly painful thought. But it doesn't exist except for in your head. This is what I'm talking about. Don't project out - nobody knows what the future holds, no one, so it's a total waste of energy and time to let your mind wander in that direction. You'll only drive yourself crazy over an illusion. Maybe you will sleep in the same bed again, maybe you won't. Why is it that the projection has to be negative? I say leave it all alone - positive and negative projection - there's no place in life for it. It's just mental masturbation in a fantasy land that doesn't actually exist.
As far as who moves into the other room - that's a decision you have to make. If you move, you would probably look on that as you actually hearing her and giving her the space. Fighting over who moves into the other room is just going to prove her right - it's up to you. Personally if my W had asked me to move instead of her, I would have done it. But she had already made up her mind that she was the one that was going into the other room. No sense digging your heals in with a battle you can't win. It's your call - I'm sure some people will see it differently than me.
We told my kids that I snore alot and it keeps mommy awake so she moved into the other room to get good sleep. My kids are 3 and 5 so they didn't question it.
