I am so absolutely tempted to write an email tonight that it is hard to figure out why I shouldn't. Now I have been working my asss off at staying out of tawny and Carrie's relationship, but she is just so damn stupid.
Carrie calls Tawny tonight, while I am at soccer practice of course. Here is the convo per Tawny:
C- Hey how are you? T- Fine. C- Do you want to go do something with me. T- Are you ready to apologize to me? C- I have nothing to apologize for. T- Then no, I do not want to see you. C- I haven't done anything to apologize for. T- I will not get into this again. I am with a friend and this is rude. I am going now. C- No let's talk about this. T- No, there is nothing to talk about until you are ready to apologize. I have to go. C- Fine, I love you. T- No you F'in don't, bye.
I talked to Tawny a bit about this. I suggested to her that the next time she tell Carrie that she should sit down and think about everything that has happened in the last 3 years and really see if there is anything she feels like she did wrong and needs to apologize to her for. I suggested she have her mom write her a note if she can't speak to it. I told her I am proud of her for not getting into an argument, but that the F word was unacceptable.
I also told her that Carrie does love her. I told Tawny that she loves her mom even though she is unhappy with her and her mom loves her even when they are not getting along. She responded by telling me that as long as Carrie has chosen this other man over her she will not truly believe that her mom loves her. I told her that deep down her mom loves her no matter what and that Carrie's bad choices do not mean that she does not love her.
I do not understand how Carrie is able to stand her ground here and defend her position on such shaky ground. It is so insane that she see's nothing that she has done as being wrong. She blames Tawny 100% for the failure of their relationship. She says that Tawny is manipulative and that she will not give in to her manipulation. Holy crap "pot" are you kidding me here.
I want very badly to email her and tell her to leave Tawny alone unless she is ready to admit what she has done to her daughter is wrong. That if she is not going to do that then she needs to leave our daughter alone until Tawny makes contact with her. She does nothing but retrigger the anger when she does make the scarce contact and knowing full well what Tawny is wanting to hear she does not do it. It's like watching a kid stick their finger in a plug and getting shocked over and over but they keep doing it, stupid.
Ughhhh no emails, no texts, no nothing from me for 48 hours.... If I do right now it will be brutal and that won't help at all right?
The OM in my case was a family friend who was married at the time. He was a leader at my kids youth group, he was my sons soccer coach. Tawny was very hurt by this and has told her mom that she will not accept this man ever. When Carrie kicked her out she told her that if she could not accept OM then she cannot live with her. That is why Tawny feels this way.
I do not disagree with her by the way, I just choose not to speak to it because it is hard for me to be objective.
That's a tuffy I actually wouldn't know how to approach that myself. I can almost see both sides. It seems both are digging in their heels. It's hard to understand the interpersonal relationships between Woman. It's to complicated to try and figure out sometimes. They can hold a grudge for a very long time.
Let me ask you a hypothetical question... If in the future, you were to find a Woman that you really wanted to have a relationship with, but Tawny didn't accept, how do you think you would handle it?
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I can understand how she can feel betrayed by both of them.
You and I both know how hard the word 'sorry' is for the WAS and you know Carrie is not going to acknowledge any attempt by you to protect Tawny's feelings.
Any email or protest from you is probably futile. You already know that though.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
