In some ways I am hearing the same thing from my H - one day he wants to reconcile and the next day he is asking for a D. I think it is hard to consider what it would be like to reunite when you know everything you know now. Good to concretize what is different or will be different.
Keeping quiet and listening is excellent on your part as hard as it is. Communication - I am not the best on advice here - I think you need to take it slow in expressing feelings - I think I read that in the book - it tends to put pressure on the WAS.
Sorry the monster continues. Have you tried visualizing a good night's sleep and yoga is very helpful if you havent' tried it. The point is that you do your best with the contortions - it doesn't have to be perfect or even close.
Patient thoughts be with you. I'll try to follow but my posting may be limited - things are not going well for me.
