Well, the kids must of really liked the cookies as there were no left overs from school today
Yes, the memories I am building now, I'll treasury for ever!
When I got home from work, took S15 back to school with his baseball uniform as they had pictures earlier tonight. Then we ordered cheese pizza and now S15 is out with friends and S13 has friends over and they are playing XBOX.
Cannot wait till tomorrow as S15 starts baseball season!!! Its always a lot of fun and it will be weird as W and I will not be going to the game together like we have for the last 10 yrs.
In addition, it will be interesting to see if W talks with her mom, since they have not conversed since W dropped the bomb.
Today, I had a good day at work but was in a sad mood most of the day as I miss W very much. I did get in a walk tonight and praying, both of which have helped.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
You sound like you are really "getting it" and doing a great job with your kids: those relationships will stand the test out time, and nothing touches a W's heart more than someone really connecting to and nurturing her children.
Keep doing what you are doing... for yourself and your kids first, and for her a distant third.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
Today was such a beautiful day for a baseball game or two Unfortunately, S15's team lost both (10-5 and 6-5) to a very good school on the east side of Chicago. S15 did hit an RBI triple which was exciting! W was there without OM and only said "hi" and "bye" to me. That was fine as I was interacting with the other parents, some of whom we have know for over 10yrs. W did leave before the second game was over, she's never left early before but I didn't care. Anyway, S15 said he had fun even though they lost, next game is Monday. When we got home I went on a walk for about an hour and talked with one of my cousins, who has been divorced for 3 yrs and is still having a hard time missing her H. Then S13 and I met my parents at Applebee's for dinner and now we are home and the kids are playing XBOX. My mood was up and down as it was strange being at my kids game and not with my W, who I wanted to just hold and tell her how much I love her but I know not to pursue..... Tonight I get to log into work around 2:00am as we make some database changes and my team needs to test their applications. I work in IT department for a truck manufacture.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Today was another beautiful day, so I walked for about an hour and a half this afternoon and then my parents came over with food for me, S15 and his girlfriend. S13 is over by his buddy's house and will sleep over there tonight. We cleaned some more and I had my dad fix a light switch and he cleaned the blinds (we like to keep him busy..
Was in good mood until about 5:00 then down in dumps as I'm really missing W.
Talked to W tonight for about 3 minutes, after she texted me "where are u" and I responded home with S15 and his girlfriend. We mostly about S15's game yesterday and what W has planned for tomorrow as she and the kids are on spring break. I tried to be as upbeat as I could.
A little tired tonight as I was up to 5:00am working this last night/morning. I'm watching Harry Potter with the kids until I need to drive S15's girlfriend home.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Well, W just texted me that she may miss S15's game today and if I can keep her updated. I texted back "Will do" and then she texted back "Thanks, I really appreciate it!" I didn't respond, but WTF I always kept her updated anytime she missed a game and she never thanked me like she has been since she moved out and into OM's place. I'm chalking this up to don't believe what they say...
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
My W also started saying "thank you" a lot to me even though she was with OM. I think it is some sort of combination of their guilt and pity towards us. You are best to not make much of it.
Yes, definitely don't make much of that. But it's funny... my H didn't do that. He was so full of venom towards me. (That's what he did to avert his guilt about the situation and to push me away).
Thinking about this, it was probably easier for me to detach because of this. If he had been nice (and there were moments when he was nice), it might have made it much more difficult for me. I have to give you guys credit for doing your best to detach under these circumstances. In some ways it's much more difficult when they are nice.
It's sort of reminds me of someone who has caught a fish on a hook, and they are pulling it along, then letting go, and then pulling along... trying not to lose it.
Just in case they get hungry at a later time.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Well, W never made it to the game, so I just texted her updates about the score and how S15 played and she kept texting back with the "Thanks! and I appreciate the updates!" which I ignored as I know they are from guilt and she still wants to be "best friends". I hate to burst her bubble but we are not best friends as best friends don't betray one another like she has to me. I'm friendly but I don't confide in her nor really talk with her about anything except the kids and finances.
S15's team lost 12-3, he pitched fairly well, too many errors and he did score a run.
My detachment comes from knowing I cannot compete with the OM (I tried in January but didn't matter what I did, the OM was all W could think about) so I don't contact her unless its business related and I'm working on responding in a friendly business manner. It is hard at times as I miss talking with her and I mean really talking with her like we used to. That's why I'm grateful I found this forum and have lots of support from family & friends. And, of course, I'm home with the kids
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Today's game was in the rain and wind but S15's team won (7-4), he didn't get to play today but a day off won't hurt him
W was there for about 2 innings and did come over by me to talk for a couple of minutes. She told me about her day and I asked her a couple of questions relating to her work and then she left.
A lot of the parents at the game have known us for a long time and they are not talking with her like they did in the past. I found out today most are very angry with her and don't understand why she is trying to act all normal and everything will be fine. I just told them to keep praying for my family and I thanked them for their support. I told the ones I'm closer with that this is the hardest thing I have ever been through, however, I'm very happy to be home with the kids.
Well, time for a walk, hope the rain has stopped.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
