My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Hey Stacy

I don't feel very young right now but thank you for the compliment. This whole sitch has aged me a lot of years I imagine.

I'm fairly sure about the church thing Stacy. There just isn't a young community here supporting the church. It is sad but that's just the way it is. The exception may be the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Mormons but that's not my religion and I have no intention of changing. The best way to describe me is as an unpracticing Christian. Don't worry, I will make sure my son is fully aware of religion and understand that there's a higher power out there. I think I will leave it up to him to chose his own path when he's old enough though. I very much believe in choice and free will.

I always intend to be there for Wee Man as a role model. He is and will always be the most important thing in my life. Nothing which is happening is going to change me on that. Whether my W likes it or not I am always going to be there for the good of our son.

I had a very interesting experience tonight. After I'd been out for dinner, I came home to find my FIL at my door. He'd come past for a quick visit. We opened a bottle of wine and had an absolutely amazing talk about life, the universe and everything. He brought up my R with my W and we talked about things in depth. Not once did I mention trying to win her back though. Nor did I ever mention DBing. I was honest with him but made sure that nothing I said to him would make him think
I was still pursuing my W. It's not that I would necessarily think he would go and tell her but I thought that it would be more healthy if he could go back to her and tell her that I seemed to be doing great on my own. To be honest though, it felt fantastic to be able to talk to someone about it face to face. He was very honest with me in telling me that he hoped we could socialise together more often and that it would come with time. He just thought at the moment everyone was still confused about how they should be acting with me. He also told me he almost wished that I had been the one to break up the M because he might find it easier to deal with. I know exactly what he meant and I'm so glad he was open enough about it with me. He then asked if my W came back with open arms right now would I just drop everything and take her back. I told him absolutely not. If she was to come back to me, I would need to know that it was for real and for the right reasons. To that end we'd need to start from square one. That is honestly what I believe. Yes I'd love her back but not without her convincing me that it's what she really wants and that we wouldn't just be in this exact same position a year from now.

This has all made me feel so much better about everything. I'm going to go to bed tonight with a more positive outlook. I prayed last night and tonight I get the visit from my FIL which makes me feel 100 times better. It makes you think eh? Night night all. Keep smiling.

Kev