First Locked Thread in 5 Years!

[tpaschal]

Pam,

Wow. I missed out on a lot that was going on with you this past week. (I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my internet problems are fixed.)

My heart is hurting for you right now. I can imagine how painful this is. OT and Jack and BND and others had some great words of insight and advice.

I think I'm very much in the same boat with you. We still love our x's and want so much for them to be the good guys that we knew for so long, that we keep asking the questions and having the discussions---all the while hoping for the good guy responses---even though we know deep down that our x's are not capable of that yet.

You hit the nail on the head, for me as well as for yourself. We need to work on shutting the hell up.

IMO, don't meet with him. You don't need to talk about it anymore. You verified that he was lying to you, then you apologized for the snooping way that you got the info. Now leave it. You've already told him you can't be his friend while he's in another relationship. You stated your boundary, so stick to it. Any further discussion is pursuing behavior and clouds the boundary. No more wishy-washy.

We know you love him. He knows you love him. He's not ready to love you, so leave him alone.