OH It doesnt sound pathetic just human it has helped me to build a group of freinds to talk to and go out with I dance 2x a week now..east coast west coast cha cha 2 step it is fun it has helped me so much to get back out I think I would have gone crazy these 2 years you will find what works for you moving on as we stand peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Playing with fire?...My GF from work as I said is going thru the same crap as me. "She is NOT going to sit home and waste away!" I asked her if she feels like a turd because the men (flies) are swarming. Right now she has 3 mens attention. (her and BF just broke up a month ago).
We work in a feed store. This guy K is our customer. He's single. Farms. And has paid GF alot of attention over the last few years. Naturally as soon as he heard of her breakup he was knocking at her door. Then there is a guy B that drives truck for us. He is single. "Cute". Farms. Him and other guy are neighbors, friends, and partner some together. He is friends with both of us girls too. I have always felt a spark between us. Of course I was M and that is all it was. I've known him for about 12 years.
Last night GF calls me. K had called her. Wants to know if the 2 of us want to go out to supper with him and B Friday night. She told him she'd talk to me and one condition. Dutch treat as friends. I said I'm game but just as friends. And next Frid they want us to go to the sale barn and out to steakhouse.
Excited about going out and having fun but worried where this is headed...
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
"date" night was okay. Nothing too exciting. It's totally obvious that GF wants the attention of both of these guys and it looks like she has it. So that takes the heat off me. If we continue to hang out with these two, there should be no threat for me of it turning into something more. I think.
Day 5 of NC. H came out yesterday late morning. I stayed in the house. Him and BIL worked around the barnyard for quite awhile. Never came in to the house. Then went to the other place to haul bales. I had hoped I could get out of here before they came back. I got ready (and looked pretty good) and about the time I was ready to leave they came back. I stalled waiting to go to the car. I thought H was in the shed and went out. As I walked out H came out of the barn headed for the house. He looked at me, stopped dead in his tracks(seriously!), I smiled and waved at him, he just stood there, and I got in my car. He went to the shed and I left. I had forgotten my keys so I had to go back in the house. N15 was laughing, she said "did you see that? he seen you and stopped dead in his tracks!". We laughed.
Anyway, it made me feel good. We had a really good time last night. Got home about 1:30 this morning. Good food, good company, good time. Drank too much coffee so didn't sleep much last night.
N15 said H asked her where I went. She told him she didn't know other than I went out with GF and some friends. He said "wow, their sure partying it up aint' they". Yea drinking coffee, whoo hoo!!! He did not call me this weekend, first time in 5 weeks. Good? Or bad? Don't matter.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
anybody out there? What happen to all the opinions, advice, inputs, 2x4's, praise, encouragement? Has everyone that cared left this board?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Hi TOH, yes lots of people have left over recent months. Since some got banned others have left also. I believe they can be found in the "other universe" Others who stayed are posting less and less. So nothing personal. I think gf may be a little greedy wanting 2 men but if it suits you thats fine and you do get to go out which has to be a good thing,less time to think or watch h's movements. You sound better.
thanks naej, I am better. I stop myself everytime I think of H. He seems to be so gone. I have strong "feelings" that he spent alot of time with OW over the weekend. Really Really trying to let all of that go now.
I have finally realized that M or not, right or wrong, morals or no morals. My H is really going to do whatever he wants. The things I have done and said over the last two years may have kept them apart from the world. Kept them still in hiding. But in the end all it did was prolong maybe the inevidable. I still don't think in the end he will end up with her. Honestly I pray that he doesn't for him and for our girls. Not going to lie, for me too. SOOOO much damage has been done. I believe that if he does, they'll suffer the rest of their lives. Comes down to, not my problem. His choice to make. Me being involved in the situation just keeps complicating it more.
As "Damb" hard as it was. As long as it took me to really see, to accept what is. Finally! I have let my H go to find what he is looking for. I let him go in love and more understanding than he'll ever know. The very sad part is that I am so sure in my heart that this all could have been fixed. I am still so p&ssed off that he couldn't see, wouldn't believe, didn't trust in "US". In me, and in himself. I tried soo very hard to make him believe that. In the end it was all for nothing. He has to figure it out on his own. And if he doesn't, well we will both go to our graves with many regrets.
I love my H very much. I don't think that anything or anyone will ever change that. My only regrets over the last 25yrs is that I should have let him go a long time ago. Maybe we would be together today. Who knows. I know in my heart I have done EVERYTHING possible to try and save my M and even to save him.
I am so very sad for him. I know that he hurts more than anyone knows. I know he is confused. I know that he is lost. And it's so sad to me that together we could beat this thing and come out so much better in the end. But H doesn't believe in himself first and formost, and OW clouds his believe in me. It all could have been so different. I pray that one day he can forgive himself, as I have. I pray that he can be happy again. But I really have my doubts and it breaks my heart.
I have spent 2 years alone. I still hate it. It's time for me to look for something new in this life. I'm tired of being so miserable. I am okay. And I will be okay. I don't know what happened but a couple of weeks ago, things started looking different. I almost like getting up in the morning again...Leaving the past in the past and looking forward to the future.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
I almost like getting up in the morning again...Leaving the past in the past and looking forward to the future.
Good for you. I am liking this new you and attitude. Long may it last. It is both sad and freeing when we finally get to the point when we let go. So hard to know nothing we can do to fix things or make them "see" but getting to that place brings it's own rewards. Take care.
In letting my H go, I never told him anything. There was no fight that ended things. Nothing. I just one day decided enough was enough. Do I need to tell him? Should I say something? Or just leave it all alone? And if he asks me what's going on, what do I say?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Hi TOH, well my take is not to actually tell him, just let your actions speak for themselves after all this is for YOU right? not a tactic to get him back. If he asks just say you are getting on with life and been really busy. Then the ball is in his court should he wish to contact you, so just keep on doing what is right for you and your new life rebuilding. He will notice even if he doesn't ask. YOU will feel so much better after a while, with the odd downturn but that's natural. Just stay strong. Write a list as to why you are doing this then in weaker moments read it.
