Yeah I came to grips on January 31 to stop trying to reason with her because her mental faculties were becoming more and more unglued. She is like a child right now, fire bad, food good, and she has no concept of anything beyond what she impulsively wants.
I think she tried (and failed) to cope with her father's death, and OM came in and the A started, which basically pushed her into guilt, etc. so she has mentally snapped.
She tells everyone else these wild stories, and then when she comes back and accuses me of some things I tell her she is flat out lying and she sort of acts confused and considers what I'm saying. Then she just makes up more things.
Her attorney has to have figured out by now she is unreliable and is trying to protect her client by delaying at this point hoping I'm just upset and will calm down. I'm getting ready to grease the tracks and start the locomotive. I've got more than enough evidence at this point to raise serious doubts about her.
Of course... I hate doing it. This is someone I loved, who I trusted, who I put everything into and trusted to raise my children if something happened to me. Now I'm staring at a broken stranger who has no moral compass and seems to take glee in trying to vilify me and attempt to destroy me.
Now that we are in the legal arena (which she chose) she is realizing I'm in my element (lots of experience/knowledge) and she is like a fish out of water. The lies/stories/etc. don't matter as much when real evidence is presented in a legal fashion.
And yes... I try to keep my heart in the right place. I pray every night, try to avoid anger, try to avoid a sense of vengeance, and try to just line up my ducks in a row so that I can just do what I have to do in order to protect D1.
Would I be willing to work on my M? I just don't know if it can be salvaged. She is so broken, and the road back is so long, I almost feel like she'd just give up. I'm not hung up on the A... but I'd have to move, she'd have to give up privacy, her new "friends", all sorts of things would have to happen she wouldn't be willing to do. The M could be stronger afterwards, but ultimately it is easier to build trust in a new R than one ravaged by infidelity. I just think she has too much guilt to feel like she can come back, and she doesn't want anyone else to know what she did. She knows I know... and she doesn't know how to process that... not by being honest with me. She is still going to be lying about it.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
