People who aren't trying to be more honest don't agonize over it and tell people they are hiding things. He did not have to tell you he was dating. He could have lied about that as well as lying about the sex.
Good luck on "closure." I doubt you'll get it. It seems instead that you are using this as an excuse to do more of the same. You're already extracting what you call "mixed signals" from him.
Here is his signal. It has been pretty darn clear from what you have written PRIOR to your last snooping. It is not confusing. Do not run with it. HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. HE IS UNWILLING TO BE THE ONE TO CANCEL HIS BACKUP PLAN. HE WANTS YOU IN THE WINGS WHILE HE CONTINUES TO DATE AND HAVE SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN. HE WANTS HIS PERSONAL LIFE TO BE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
If you accept that role, well, then maybe you have "unfinished business." Otherwise, there is really no business to be finished right now.
You have not gone dark. You are making excuses to connect with him. You are trying to extract something from him that you have to find for yourself -- peace with his lies, peace with ending your recent illusions of an exclusive R with him, peace with choosing not to be his friend, when friendship doesn't include the details of his personal calendar or bedroom.
X will tell you what you want to hear to get back into his comfort zone. Will you join him there?
