WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[MrBond]

You're not really changing your changes, you're actually just giving her what she wants. The thing is that if you read through your posts, when she calls the shots based on her timeline, she's fine and happy. But when you assert something, she changes it to how YOU really haven't changed, YOU are being selfish, etc.

See she blames you when it's convenient When she starts feeling uncomfortable.

What you want to do is remain compassionate and understanding, but also do what YOU think is right for YOU. She keeps saying that she wants to do what's right for you, well all you're doing is what is right for you. She can't say what's best for you anymore than you can for her.

Establish a boundary. That's all there is to it. No woman respects a doormat. And you can't expect to get a respectful response from her until she starts treating you with respect.

Maybe you can bring that up in C about how she has been treating you without respect. She'll say all the stuff about how she's been "allowing" you to ML to her, be friends with her, etc. But she's going to have to learn that that's not "respecting" you. That's her placating you because she feel sorry for what she's doing.

Let me put it to you this way. When my W and I separated, I didn't initiate any physical contact at all to see what she would do. Which of course was nothing. So we didn't even hug for a good 7 months not even at Christmas, New Years and special occassions. Then when she came back and I brought that to her attention, she was surprised at how cold and distant she had become. Then she understood it was her that was causing her negative feelings and not me.

You've got to turn it back around so it's focusing on her problems and not the M.