Mother's Day Disaster

[ACJ]

I've purposefully not been here for a few days as I've been feeling so down. In fact it is the most down I have felt since all this c**p started.

Last Thursday it was my day off from work. I was supposed to be meeting my mentor for my degree but she was ill again and this small (what should have been insignificant) piece of information set me into a downward spiral so deep I don't think I would ever come out of it had I also not been scheduled to see my homeopathist that morning.

Boy was I in a state when she arrived. As I'm sure most of you know I am trained in and work with conventional medicines and ALWAYS question everything that I am prescribed (which happens rarely) but when she said 'Here take this' I just held out my hand like a child and took whatever it was that she gave me. I hadn't booked her for reiki but she did some anyway. She then told me that she would be back within the hour with some remedies for me. She was true to her word. Never having had reiki before and not really feeling the effects she said I would feel I was shocked when I then slept from 10.30am until 3.30pm and still had a good nights sleep that night. I am still very sceptical about the remedies she gives me but hand on heart I feel so much better for taking whatever it is I currently have. I truely never want to feel like that again. I was worried for myself.

H went to Barcelona for his birthday. That wasn't until Friday but he flew out on Wednesday (which I think is where the spiral started!). I knew he was going away for the weekend but I didn't know he was leaving the country and it turns out that D13 didn't know until the night before either. Apparently S16 had asked why he couldn't go too and was told it was a romantic weekend away so he spent the weekend home alone. I did invite him here but although he originally agreed to stay Saturday night he ended up not coming as going to a party had more of an appeal than spending time with his mum!

However, that romantic weekend can't have been all it was cracked up to be b/c when D18 came home for the weekend and spoke to S16 she found out that MIL had gone too! So even though her constant presence in our lives was one of the factors that led to the deterioration of our M she is still doing it only much worse it would seem. She did take her friend and was apparently told she could go on the proviso that she did her own thing whilst there but if I know MIL she would have got round that one quite easily!

Mother's day was a disaster. D18, bless her, had bought me a plant and a lovely card. D13 had to be prompted by her sister to say Happy Mother's Day. This was despite the fact that the day before I handed the girls a card that I had made for MIL for them to give her for Mother's Day. This was when they found out she too had gone to Barcelona so they didn't bother writing it or taking it to her house. S16, who should have stayed the night before, had promised me breakfast in bed but he didn't actually appear until 8pm when he had finished work. He came with a bottle of wine. D18 had cooked an early lunch as she had to go back to uni and just as we sat down she made the mistake of asking D13 when H was back from his most recent jaunt. D13 answered and then announced that she would be spending every night until Thursday with H. I simply asked why so many nights and she just said b/c I want to. D18 made a comment that if this continued it meant that I was being forced to stay in every weekend whilst H got his freedom then. D13 turned on us both. I told D18 to leave it but she wouldn't so very quickly D13 turned to me and said 'Happy f**king Mother's Day' and left the table.

I will not be celebrating Mother's Day again. I cannot go through that heartache again.

When I left this morning for work I left D13 her lunch with a note on it saying see you Thursday. Just before I was due to leave work I got a TM saying she wasn't going to stay at Hs tonight after all. I immediately sent one back saying 'that is very good news see you soon'. When I got home I asked why she had changed her mind and she said she couldn't be bothered going. I know D18 had a conversation with her about her behaviour when I was washing up after tea last night but I don't know what was said. It is very cold here today and I suspect that maybe D13 had asked H to pick her up and he has probably declined. It's only a guess but whatever the reason hopefully it means the novelty is wearing off.