You are teaching your sons what unconditional love means, what marriage means.
Of course you don't put up with abuse. Any time you call her on stuff she immediately changes. She is not purposely trying to abuse you, from what I see. Ask her for more, if you want more....counseling, retrouvaille. If she says no, you tell her what you are not getting from her that you need and unless she feels she can do that all of the sudden, you feel you need help from counseling/retrouvaille to get there.
