Yes, that's all good. Cut out the common sense talks and I wouldn't pursuit. I think some of the limiting contact or going dark or dim is to help with the emotions. Instead you GAL, focus on yourself and your kids. Maybe your W has mental problems, maybe she's just young (she was about 18 or so when you married?). I know at 22 I was a LOT different than I am now 20+ years later. I would just focus on you and your kids though as being the most important. Take the high road and I do think you will always feel good about that in retrospect. Karen
She was 19 when we married. There seems to be a lot more to it than being young (although that is part of it probably) because just flipping out like she has with random nonsense doesn't seem to be just a young issue.
She is lying (and badly) about lots of things. I asked to take D1 to visit my family and the next thing I know I'm hearing I "threatened to steal the baby." I asked her directly on the phone (recording it) and she denied saying that.
I ask her to go to counseling, she flatly denies and says she doesn't want to. Then she tells her family that she is the one who wants to go and I'm not wanting to go.
I ask her why she is calling me abusive, and she accused me of trying to drown her. I asked what the heck she was talking about and get told that I yelled one time when she was taking a bath.
I tell her I'm concerned about her lack of emotional display since her father died (she used to cry at the drop of a hat, haven't seen her cry since that day) and she said that I 'made' her stop showing emotion because I wanted sex from her when her father was sick.
She told me she feels like she has wasted five years of her life "taking care of kids that aren't hers" and has shown hardly any emotion towards my sons since this started.
She has used D1 to control me, and has withheld visitation if I've refused to go along with what she wanted. Before I dropped all my evidence on her attorney, she was saying things like "You can't see her unless my attorney says you can." and things like that.
Prior to the A, she was always sweet, charming, and nice and supportive emotionally to everyone. Now she is a vindictive snake, deceiving everyone she supposedly loves just to continue her A. Her mom is blowing through retirement savings she will need to live on just to support W's D, and when it all comes out that she has been messing around I'm sure that will make things awkward.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
