Well, I have a message that I wrote before you went snooping regarding your suspicions, etc... ------- "I'm not sure why you call that crazymaking. Your guess at events sounds quite reasonable to me. A guy who is divorced and dating is extremely unlikely to be celibate.
Going dark and taking space for yourself is fine, it certainly will not make X forget you.
Unless you are at peace with friendship with X while he is seeing and sexing others, trying to be his friend probably isn't good for anyone.
Friendships don't have strings that try to control one's romantic life...
Quit focusing on what is going to trigger the "right" behavior in X. Focus on what makes for a good life for you now." --------
So, all that pretty much stands.
I agree, you apologized, enough said. But quit snooping and don't try to excuse the snooping. It pretty much amounts to stalking at this point. He is your EX-husband. You are not in a committed, monogomous R with him. His private life is his business.
If he wants it to be otherwise, he will have to bring A LOT to the table, and like I said weeks ago, he has barely begun to be honest with you about a huge list of deep dark secrets.
As for talking it through with him, what is the point? You apologized, there really is nothing else to talk about unless he plans to meet your terms for an R or unless you decide you are OK being just friends. (Which, clearly you aren't. Friends don't stalk friends.)
If he wants to come clean, if he wants to try an exclusive romantic R with you, HE WILL MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR. If that is not where he is, then he will not be clear on it, precisely because it is not his intent.
