First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

TAL, She's always definitely been moody. I never paid much attention to it, but probably because I'm so hyper sensitive now, that it just affects me more.

Weekend was another one of those up and down times. Friday I got home with S20 and W was ok. Saturday she was great in the morning all the way up to some point in the evening and then her whole mood changed. W, S20 and I went out for dinner and at some point during dinner she changed. The rest of the night she was more distant. What ever.

Sunday I was in a mood so I just tried to stay away from her.

I'm finding that I'm experiencing a whole bunch of resentment and anger now. I've been reading the "tips for newcomers to piecing" that's stuck at the top of the board and it's definitely nice to read that others have gone/are going through the same emotions. It was just good to know that what I'm feeling is normal, cause the last week I've found myself resenting her more and more. Her apparent lack of caring what this has done to me. Her apparent rationalizations/justifications she seems to be hanging on to. Her lack of remorse.

I don't know, maybe she feels those things, but she sure doesn't show them to me. Maybe that's why she goes through these mood swings, but it's darn hard to take.

What scares me is lately I've been finding myself fantasizing about life without her. Over the weekend she did a few things and made some comments that both S20 and S16 picked up on and I keep wondering to myself if I'm doing them more harm than good by continuing to try to keep our marriage together. Am I teaching them that this is how marriage is supposed to be? Have I passed the point where I've taught them to fight for your marriage and now I'm teaching them it's ok to put up with this abuse? Cause that's what this is, is abuse. I fear that they'll be damaged beyond repair when it comes to what a healthy relationship is to them because of this example both their mother and I are setting. Her, it's ok to do what she's done and then treat me like chit and me, it's ok to accept this stuff while trying to save our marriage.

At what point do you say you've had enough and let it go and move on with your life?

Lots to ponder.