WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

I just got off a call with one of my close friends.

She reminded me something that was really important - I'm not failing my kids as I'm not the one leaving. I made mistakes in the past, but I've learned from them and am making the right changes. It's her decision whether to be open to seeing/accepting the changes.

I can't live in the past of what could have/should been done or said. I need to live today and enjoy today and the future. Very similar to the Kung Fu Panda quote that goes something like the past is the past, that's why it's called history. The future is unknown. But today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. Or something like that, but I think you can get the gist of the message.

My wife is trying to be true to her feelings (so she says). She said on Friday before I left with the boys is that she feels that she loves and cares for me as a person, but just doesn't love me like a wife should love a husband which is why she wants to leave the marriage. She was crying when she said it.

I guess part of me I was hoping she would be sad over the weekend and miss me. That didn't happen. Instead she chose to find something to be angry and resentful about. That was her decision, it is impossible for me to be perfect enough to prevent her from every finding something to be angry/resentful about. I guess that's part of a person's choice to love - to be able to accept that person for all their faults.

I'm feeling much better now. It's amazing how talking to someone who understands and cares can change your day....