The timing sucks about the job and all the stuff going on at home. I'm really sorry.
That does sound like a great 180. You could say to your wife that you are stressed about it and maybe try and talk to her about it. Not by going in too much to your feelings, just include her a little more. Something like talking to her about what your plans are - not informing her of them - maybe ask her what she thinks? It might not work, she may not want to hear but you never know. Being positive is a great 180 though if you have been moody and hard to live with in the past - not what you want to portray now!
Here is an idea for the golf... how about you include them in the golf. It might be boring for them to watch so maybe in the evening you could take the kids to Pizza Hut (or somewhere kids like to go??) and say to your wife you are going out in celebration/ commiseration of your performance in the competition and give her the chance to come. The likelihood is that she will probably say no but take the kids and have a great night anyway!
With regards to ironing etc, yes that it good DBing so long as you keep it up and this is the 'new you'. Otherwise it will look like and empty gesture, just don't expect thanks.
