It was a weird weekend. H’s ex-OW from his EA sent me emails my H once wrote her. He said some really romantic things to her. And he said some not so flattering things about me. I sent her a text that if she ever contacts me again in any capacity, it’s going to get ugly. She said some stupid childish things back to me. And I did not respond. Later on Saturday, H calls me and says “I guess you got what you wanted. She’s never going to speak to me again.” I laughed, and I mean from my stomach and soul, I laughed. I said to him “Actually, you said you were going to take care of things. You were going to make sure she never contacted me again. And guess what? She’s still screwing with me. So I’ve taken care of it.” Silence. I sent him the emails and explained how she’s made him look like a joke. And if she’s sending this to me, who else is she sending it to? More silence. I explained to him how the emails made me feel and more silence. Later he explained that the emails were written at a time “when we were in a different place.” I wanted to ask “What does that mean? Are we now on a road to reconciliation? Is that what you call this? ‘Cause if it is, what’s it going to look like when we fight?” But I didn’t. One thing I can say about me now, I have learned to hold back and not put out as many sarcastic hurtful comments. I’m very happy about that. He said not to worry about any of it because she’s not going to talk to him EVER again and I said, Monday morning you are going to try your best to get back into her good graces and he said no he wasn’t. I pointed out to him “She just broadcasted very personal thoughts of yours. How many times does she have to sell you out, throw you under the bus before you get it? Chase this person if you must, but please please, leave me out of it.” He again said he was done with her and any kind of relationship which he swears for the last couple of months has been just a friendship anyways. And I still have bruises on my butt from the drop off the turnip truck. And now for the miracle: He apologized. I couldn’t believe it. He APOLOGIZED. For everything. Once again, I didn’t ask what that means, but he did apologize. Amazing. I started to say something and he said “W, I have let you lay into me for 40 minutes. I think I’m done now.” And I responded with “You are right, thanks for letting me vent and tell you how I’m feeling.” Silence again. The old me would have said “Tough, shut up and I’m going to keep yelling.” So I’m sure that shocked him. On Saturday night, he called around 9:30 or so, and said he was leaving a going-away party for a co-worker and wanted to know if he could stop by and see S. I said absolutely, he’s still awake. H stopped by and hung out with S a bit. I took a shower. I came out of the shower and noticed, my copy of Divorce Remedy was right next to my bed. It had a bottle of tea on top of it, but I am pretty sure H saw it. If he didn’t he was very attentive to S or just completely oblivious. I have to believe he saw it. Oh well. When we was leaving on a Saturday, he gave me a hug. Sunday morning, he bought us breakfast and went to play in a golf tournament, that he ended up winning. Sunday afternoon, I check my email and see that his mother emailed me. Basically it said we don’t want to get involved but we are worried about all of you, especially our grandson. She said we needed to figure it out. More over she said that we haven’t been happy in a long time, we gave it our best but it’s time to move on with our lives. So basically, divorce each other. Sunday night, he came over for dinner. I sort of ignored him a bit, but wasn’t mean. I showed him the email from his mother and he had no idea she was going to send that. He thought she was sending me information related to our burglary and bills, etc. He said “Don’t be mad.” I told him I wasn’t and was actually surprised it’s taken his parents this long to say anything. Later his mother calls me. He’s sitting on a couch, I’m sitting on a chair and he can hear my whole conversation with his mother. I told her that she was right and that I appreciate her caring about us. I know she loves us all and I mention that H and I aren’t playing “head games” with each other as much as his little ex-OW is because she’s a child and doesn’t know any better. He said that his parent knew all about ex-OW. Turns out, they don’t. His mother has heard the ex-OW’s name but not much else. Just thought she was a co-worker he liked to talk to. Hmmmmmm. Later on, we are washing S in the Jacuzzi bath tub, which is a treat for him. S was having a ball. H grabs me and gives me a HUGE hug and asks if I would meet him at home so we could talk. I said maybe. I had a couple of drinks yesterday. I haven’t had a drink in months, just not my think really, never has been. But I wanted to relax and let my brain go. I was completely sober, because it took me hours to drink two drinks, but I was tired. And not just physically, I was tired tired. Inside and out. But my girlfriend/roommate said I needed to go. “How often do men want to “talk”?” Good point. I went. I get there and he is ironing, which cracks me up. He says “Where’s S?” I left him at my place, and H says Oh. So now I get the impression that he may have meant/wanted us to stay at home…..but I never thought of that because I just wasn’t in the mood for that. So I’m there. And he doesn’t start “talking.” We are watching trash/reality tv and laughing at the stupidity of it all. Eventually he double checks that I’m not angry about his mother’s email. I let him know I really wasn’t. I didn’t even ask if he was upset with me letting the cat out of the bag to his parents about ex-OW. But he never does initiate any real “talking” beyond that and neither did I. I left around 9:00 or so and I know he was surprised I didn’t bring anything up. He said he wanted to talk, he didn’t and neither did I. While I was there he was affectionate, but not overtly and not in a sexual way either. It was quite nice actually. Haven’t heard from him today. Not worried about it either. Not sure what to think anymore. I wanted to ask him if he agreed with his parent’s email, but left it alone. I thought it was a good sign he hadn’t known about it. If he knew about it, I would assume he absolutely wants a divorce.
Any advice suggestions? Not sure what to think or do anymore. I think I'm going to do NOTHING.
