Write a list of things she is saying and doing that you don't like and/or disagree with.
I gave this question some more thought. I think it is so hard for me to really answer is that she doesn't act/treat me the way it sounds like most WAW's do. The biggiest may be filing for a divorce, but even that's not quite right as most WAW just leave.
She treats me with kindness when it comes to our day to day lives. She pretty much still does whatever I ask (except when it comes to the divorce or sex). I think that's her core nature - she's trying to be a "nice girl" all the time, trying to please everyone. It's almost like she's the girl version of the guy in the book of No More Mr. Nice Guy.
I had told my friends over the weekend how she was the first "nice girl" I had met and was "marriage material" (vs. party/club girls). I think that's why I fell in "love" and married her. What they were surprised was that we hooked up almost the first nite (not all the way since it was a bad time of the month for her), but the second nite wasn't for her. They were both surprised as they thought she was a "nice girl" and she would have waited.
In retrospec, I was very forward (tough guy jerk) back then so when we were making out in her living room, I had told her to take her clothes off. She exposed her top, the whole time just saying she could not believe she was doing it. She said she had never hooked up on the first nite before or perhaps she was thinking it was going to be a one niter from a bar pickup. Before she got to her bottom she excused herself to the bathroom (I thought it was to take care of birth control or freshen up) and came back to appologized that she couldn't since it was a bad time for her. I told her that was ok we can do other things tonite but we can check tomorrow. Which we did and she was ready, and that's how our relationship started.
Most of our relationship together had been that way, I would just tell her what I wanted and she would comply. She would try to "beat around the bush" if she didn't like something, but often I would miss it/didn't hear it (particularly if it was something that I felt strongly about). I do noticed that when it was related to something that I didn't have a strong opinion on, I would notice/realize that she was "beating around the bush" with something. That was the issue that over the years, she built up all this resentment that's pushed her to this point.
From a more tactical/day to day type of things, it's more physical:
1 - When we hug, she hugs back and sometimes offers her check to me, but usually doesn't kiss me back on the check. I do this one thing where I lean in for a kiss, even on her check, and I would stop about an inch or so away so she would have to lean into me (something I have been doing since I started kissing girls).
2 - Of course the lack of sexual contact is something I don't like or agree with as well
3 - Her jabs/picking of the fight could just be me being overly sensitive to our situation. Perhaps it's the feeling of walking on eggshells that I still have - which I suspect is tied back to my sense that she still is reluctant to share her feelings.
So right now, the divorce is the most significant thing that I don't like/agree with is and that she's acting very selfishly by not wanting to do anything to improve our relationship. I feel she doesn't want to work on the relationship because she is still stuffing her emotions and not bringing them up till after she's built up some resentment. Thereby enabling her to hold onto her anger/hurt as she walks out of the marriage.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
